The Challenge of Receiving: Why It’s Easier to Give and What It’s Teaching Me

If I’m being honest, 2024 has been a year where I’ve really learned what it’s like to receive—without having anything to give in return, at least not emotionally. And let me tell you, it hasn’t always been easy to lean into that.

I’ve had my fair share of challenges this year, especially with my health. There were moments when I was completely tapped out, both mentally and physically, and I found myself in a position I wasn’t used to—being on the receiving end of help, care, and support. People offered to step in, to be there for me, and at first, it was really uncomfortable to say “yes.”

I used to be someone who believed that I had to give in order to receive, that I needed to always be strong, always be capable. But as I’ve become more intentional about self-love and self-care, something incredible has happened. I’ve developed deeper, more meaningful friendships, and my family relationships have grown stronger. I’ve learned that receiving is part of this journey—and I’m so grateful for the lessons it’s teaching me.

Why Receiving Feels So Hard

Growing up, many of us are taught that being generous and giving is the ultimate virtue. And don’t get me wrong—it’s wonderful to be a giving person. But we’re rarely taught that receiving is just as important. It’s like we’ve been trained to believe that accepting help somehow makes us weaker, or that we’re selfish for leaning on others.

The truth is, we all need help sometimes. Life can throw curveballs—like my health scares this year—and sometimes, no matter how strong or independent we are, we can’t do it all on our own. But why does that feel so uncomfortable?

The Guilt That Comes with Receiving

For so long, I felt guilty for needing help. I was used to being the one who gave, the one who offered support, the one who “had it together.” But there I was, completely drained, and I had nothing left to give in return. That’s when I realized—this wasn’t about keeping score.

The guilt comes from a place of feeling undeserving. It’s that nagging little voice that says, “What have you done to earn this?” or “What will you give back in return?” But I’m learning that sometimes, it’s okay to just receive—to let the people who love and care about you show up for you without needing to give back immediately.

Letting Go of Control

If I’m being honest, part of the discomfort in receiving comes from the fact that giving puts us in control. When we’re the givers, we dictate how much we give, when we give, and to whom we give. But receiving? That requires letting go. It means allowing someone else to step in and be there for us.

And let me tell you, learning to let go of that control has been one of the most humbling and powerful experiences of my life. It has allowed me to build stronger connections with those around me, to let my guard down, and to be vulnerable in ways I never thought possible.

The Beauty of Receiving

What I’m learning is that receiving is a gift—not just for me but for the people offering their help. By saying “yes” to their support, I’m allowing them to give from the heart, to experience the joy of showing up for someone they care about. It’s a beautiful cycle—giving and receiving—and it deepens the relationships that matter most.

In saying “yes” to help, I’ve learned that I am worthy of love, care, and support, just as much as anyone else. This isn’t about being selfish. It’s about recognizing that we all need each other, and that sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is let others in.

A New Chapter in Self-Love

As I continue on this journey of self-love and self-care, I’m leaning into receiving more. It’s not always easy—I still have those moments where I want to pull back and handle everything myself—but I’m learning. I’m grateful for the friendships and family connections that have deepened as a result. And I’m grateful for the lessons that this year has brought me, even when they came wrapped in challenges.

How You Can Learn to Receive, Too

If you’re like me, and receiving doesn’t come naturally, here are a few things I’ve found helpful:

1.      Start small – Next time someone offers you help, take a deep breath and say, “Yes, thank you.” It might feel awkward, but let yourself receive the care they’re offering.

2.      Release the guilt – Remind yourself that you’re not a burden. You don’t need to “earn” love or support. You are worthy of receiving, simply because you’re you.

3.      Recognize the joy in receiving – When you let others help, you’re allowing them to experience the same joy that comes from giving. It’s a two-way street, and by accepting help, you’re completing the circle.

4.      Practice gratitude – When you receive, take a moment to appreciate it. Express gratitude, not just to the person helping, but to yourself for allowing them in.

Learning to receive is an ongoing practice. It’s about opening yourself up to love, care, and support—and knowing that you don’t have to do it all on your own. I’m still learning, but I can tell you this: the more you allow yourself to receive, the stronger your relationships become, and the more you’ll realize that you are never alone in this journey.

With love and gratitude,

Kandy